The Dump – 26/03/2018

Each week here in Switzerland, we go down the road to the local Déchetterie (dump) to dispose of our week’s garbage. The “sorting of the garbage” ritual is more than just a weekly chore. It is a window unto the Swiss soul.

To begin, it makes practical Swiss sense to dedicate as little space as possible to landfill in a country with so little arable land. The Swiss can’t just truck their garbage to Michigan, like so many other places do. So instead they enlist their citizenry to gather weekly at each town’s pre-determined site to sort things down to the last wrapper. This level of practicality and precision is very Swiss.

Just how precise? Taxonomically speaking, the family garbage is divided into glass, paper, metal, plastic, compost. This is pretty standard for any progressive city. But in Switzerland there is further subdivision of the garbage right down to sub-species. Plastic is sorted into clear plastic, wrapper plastic, colored bottle plastic, and green plastic. Glass is similarly separated into bins designated by color. Any container with a metal cap must have it removed, with the cap sorted into yet another container. The strict separation of paper products borders on OCD.

For the privilege of doing this hauling and sorting ourselves, citizens in our town pay a 55% municipal tax rate, considered one of the most attractively low in the country. And while it is not strictly mandatory to go to the Déchette, it is nonetheless highly incentivized. The alternative curbside pickup requires the use of garbage bags specially stamped with the name of our town. A roll of 20 stamped garbage bags costs $30. It doesn’t take a math genius to deduce that it is far more affordable to join the Déchetterie ritual.

And the ritual is surprisingly community-building. The Déchetterie is only open for 5 hours a week (2 hours Tuesday afternoon, 3 hours Saturday afternoon), also very Swiss. So there is a very good chance of meeting some or all of our neighbors there. There is a sense of pride is doing our civic duty, and witnessing everyone else doing the same. Friendly greetings are exchanged over armloads of tin cans. Discretion is widely practiced in the face of vast volumes of empty liquor bottles coming from neighbor’s cars. There are understanding nods as each empty bottle is meticulously recycled according to its color.

The town retirees are drawn to the Déchetterie for its social aspects. They mill about as gossips and gatekeepers, helpfully instructing newcomers on the finer points of acid vs. lithium battery separation. And they invariably have bottles of wine on the go, even the paid municipal worker who is theoretically in charge. The other week, with the mountains framing her in the background, we saw a lady in a full fur coat sipping champagne from a fluted glass near the compost bins. To add to the ambience, the local militia unit was taking rifle practice at the range just behind the Déchetterie, their gunfire adding a finishing Swiss touch to this caricaturish Swiss scene.

[If you know someone else who might enjoy a lighthearted story to begin their week, kindly forward them the link to WordsfortheWeary. The more the merrier.]

[Image Credit to Montreal Gazette]

Town Council – 23/10/2017

My first presentation to Town Council took place in the “open concept” library of our local elementary school. The furniture in the library is made for little kids. The Council meeting resembled a gathering of circus bears, as we all perched like giants upon chairs made for Hobbits.

I was transfixed by the involuntary arm movements of one Councilwoman. As the Town business droned on her arm would randomly shoot straight up in the air, like some fascist salute, before returning slowly to her side. This went on all night. Only later did I observe that she was, in fact, knitting. The exaggerated arm jerk was her pulling fresh strands of yarn from the huge ball at her feet. She was Knitler.  

Finally my turn came. I had just begun my pitch to Council when some boys playing basketball in the adjacent gym crashed through the door. They dribbled basketballs down the hallway towards us while keeping up a steady patter of profanity. Council fell silent as the boys swarmed like a pack of wolves around the water fountain. They finally saw us and froze, silent, unsure what to do next. The Police Chief, rising unsteadily from his tiny chair, walked over and respectfully ushered them all back into the gym.  

I resumed my overview, only to be interrupted again. This time from the English-as-a-second-language group meeting in one of the rooms beside the library. The class of mostly Latino students was learning how to pronounce the letter “V” in English. As they practiced aloud, each student would exclaim, “I llluubbb America. I lllluubbb it here.”  The Police Chief, who had not yet returned to his tiny chair, walked across the library to their classroom and gently closed the door.

The final interruption came courtesy of the janitor. He was pushing a floor-cleaning-zamboni machine while pumping gangster rap through his headphones. Oblivious to our presence, he was doing some suggestive dance moves. He even spanked the Zamboni at one point. He finally looked up, and his eyes widened in horror as he locked on to the assembled Council staring at him. It was exquisitely uncomfortable. The moment was made perfect as Knitler’s arm shot into the air. The shamed janitor zambonied away as quickly as he could, leaving a strip of shimmering floor in his wake that made my Canadian blood race.

Moments like this make me proud of my community. Immigrants trying to make it in a new land. Neighbours voluntarily giving up their evening to carry out the tedious business of a small town. A school left open at night to contain unruly boys. A Police Chief who treats everyone with respect and grace. Despite its manifest problems, there is still so much to lluubb about America.

NB: Photo credit to www.heyuguys.com