The Story

He approached me along an empty Sunday morning street.  Unsteady on his feet and reeking of liquor, he politely asked for spare change. I gave him a coin and a smile, assuming he would move on. Instead, what followed was 10 minutes of pure grace.

Surprised by the coin, he steadied himself. He searched my face through filthy spectacles. Satisfied, he said, “You know that coin you gave me is going right down my throat, don’t you? I’m on the drink. I can’t help it. I just thought you should know. I don’t want to take advantage of your generosity”. I nodded without judgement, amazed by his honesty.

He then asked my name. It turns out we are namesakes. As proof, he pulled out a crumpled birth certificate which, for reasons unknown, he carries in his back pocket. Charles is 62, short, stout, weathered from a hard life. He is a native of the small English town where we met that morning. He spent a few happy years in Canada, another bond between us. He now lives in a shelter run by the local church that he describes as “Nice folk, but with their head up their ass.”

Standing together on the empty village street, his story flowed out. There was no boasting and no desire for pity in its telling. It was not the afflicted drunken ramble of someone in a bar. His only purpose was connection. For my part I mostly just listened, humbled by the unselfconscious honesty of this man, gently sharing his brokenness without wallowing in it.

Charles’ wife died of cancer in her 40s and left him with four kids. He stole cars to make ends meet, did some time in prison. He wept as he recalled his two girls killed in a car crash. He opened his shirt to show me their names tattooed over his heart. I asked about the angry scar on his collar bone. Knifed by some arse-hole in a pub in Wales. He often drinks in Wales since most local pubs have banned him.

The names of his boys, Bradley and Kevin, are inked on each arm. Bradley has two kids: “Them grandkids love me. Think I’m the greatest bloke alive. They’re the reason I never give up. Even at rock bottom on the drink, I will never give up. Never.” As he said this, I knew it to be true.

He caught my eye as I glanced down at his massive, bruised hands.  He remarked that he had knocked someone out with a single blow at the pub the previous evening. When I asked why, he said “You just can’t talk filth in front of ladies like that Charles. I mean, I had a daughter and a wife. Nobody should talk to a lady like that bloke was doing last night. Next time, he’ll think about it”.

As my bus approached he reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny copper penny. It had a hairpin bent around it. He gave it to me. “I do this when I find a new penny lying about”, he said. “Give this to someone you love Charles”. We shook hands in parting, his iron grip like that of a stonemason. It’s the only time in my life that I wished for my bus to be late.

[If you know others who might enjoy a lighthearted story to begin their week, kindly forward them WordsfortheWearyThe more the merrier.]

Church – 25/02/2018

A Nazi, two humping dogs, and a drug user: it sounds like the opening to a standup comedy routine. But these are all things I have encountered in church.

The priest of my childhood church was a Nazi prisoner of war. He was conscripted into the Wehrmacht as a chaplain, captured, and then shipped to Canada. After the war there was nothing to go back to, so he stayed.  Each year he read the Easter passion aloud sounding exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Once, as the narrative approached the crucifixion, I whispered to my family in my best imitation accent, “Don’t vurry. I’ll be baaach”. It was so inappropriate that the entire family got the giggles. And you know how that goes, when you’re trying to be discreet in a crowded church pew…

Our church in Uganda met in a ramshackle school building with tin roof and open walls. On one occasion during the sermon, two stray dogs wandered into the front and began to mate. This was of course hilarious and distracting. It was also typical of a church where a shared experience of the absurd drew together people of vastly different belief, nationality, and race.

For instance, communion there once consisted of stale hot dog buns and apple juice served in a plastic Manchester United cup. Afterwards some folks rightly suggested that changes were needed. Someone volunteered to get little individual plastic communion cups next time they travelled out of Uganda. Instead they unintentionally (?) returned with 100 shot glasses. Thereafter, people from dozens of different countries and backgrounds celebrated communion together with glasses raised.

I once experienced a very different sort of communion. I spent the weekend visiting a farm in Canada where Jesuits had a halfway house for men getting out of prison. Ex-convicts could stay at the farm to get back on their feet. At their Sunday service, communion involved circulating a loaf of bread around a bare kitchen table. We were to tear off a bit, then pass the loaf to the person beside us along with a word of blessing.

The bread came round. I turned to the stranger seated beside me. His hands trembled. My gaze moved up to his exposed arms, covered with needle tracks from injection drug use. As he reached for the bread I began to mumble the blessing. He squeezed my hand, and I finally looked up. The man held my gaze and quietly whispered through tears, “thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…”

Church has many faults. But I am richer for having joined there with people of every possible background in a shared experience of laughter, brokenness, hope, and mystery.

 

[If you know someone else who might enjoy a lighthearted story to begin their week, kindly forward them the link to WordsfortheWearyThe more the merrier.]