Nothing provides a window unto the soul of suburban America quite like a neighbourhood list serve.
I was once offered the coveted position of list serve co-moderator in our small community. I turned it down. I knew that the power of moderating my neighbour’s comments would in time corrupt and destroy me, like Gollum in Lord of the Rings.
The following annotated content is but a small sample of what appeared on our list serve:
1. “The bitches are whelping”. This spectacular post came from a local biologist in reference to foxes mating in our neighbourhood. Mating foxes generate a lot of noise. So did this comment when it appeared on the list serve. Actually, so did his subsequent post about the Tufted Titmouse.
2. “Please have your son refrain from urinating in the creek. Not only is it gross but it upsets the fragile ecosystem”. The referenced son was none other than our own little boy. We asked him if he did indeed ever pee in the creek. He looked puzzled. “Of course I do”, he said. Then he added hastily, “But I never poop there!” I would say that outcome puts us in the running for Parents of the Year.
3. Original Post: Have you seen my lost cat Periwinkles? She has run away. Response: Is it possible she ran away because you named her Periwinkles?
4. Curb alert/free to a good home: One Kenmore vacuum cleaner bag. Slightly used.
5. Epic email chain: The original post came from someone who was asked to refrain from letting her dog poop on the church lawn, even though she dutifully cleaned it up. In response, she called the town police to inquire if dogs pooping on the church lawn violated local bylaws. She also noted in her post that the request had been made of her by a member of the Baptist congregation, since our community church is shared by several denominations.
This post set off a firestorm on the list serve. There were comments and rebuttals about race (I think in reference to the congregation being Baptist?), religion (why not), inconsiderate pet owners, and the general injustice and failure of local law enforcement and our elected officials. I stayed out of the fray.
However, I did briefly consider sending our son over to the church lawn to sort of stir the pot. You will be “relieved” to know that I refrained from doing so. And that Periwinkles returned home safely.
[If you know someone who would enjoy a lighthearted story to begin their week, kindly forward them the link to WordsfortheWeary. The more the merrier!]
Image Credit goes to Roeselien Raimond – similar photos of funny foxes can be found at this site.
This is pure Boomsauce! Thanks Chuck!