I was once offered employment by a naked man in a public shower. This is pretty typical of my career, which mostly consists of jobs for which I am unqualified and interviews that do not follow a script. Let me explain before you come to the wrong conclusion.
I knew a professor at college who was really into running. I am really into not running. Yet for some reason we found ourselves showering next to each other at the Athletic Center one morning. He asked if I wanted to be his Teaching Assistant while he lathered with shampoo. I said yes while I soaped my armpits. We maintained strict eye contact with one another throughout this exchange, because if there is one thing for which I am categorically unqualified, it is to be naked in a public shower.
In another instance, I was interviewed by someone who had just arrived that morning on an overnight flight from China. He kept falling asleep during our interview. When he would momentarily roused himself, I would continue answering his original question until he dozed off again. We only got through three questions in 45 minutes, which I credit with getting me a job for which I was woefully unqualified.
During another interview, I was asked how I felt about working for Jews. Seriously. I was so caught off guard by the question that it’s one of the few times in my life I have truly been at a loss for words. I must have stammered something affirming because the interviewer offered me the job. I learned later that he was a rabbi – who knew?
I was once asked by a friend to interview for a job I didn’t want but for which, for a change, I was actually qualified. During the proceedings she asked me to identify “the most creative tools” I use when communicating with others. With nothing to lose (except our friendship, perhaps), I decided to really go for it with my response. I slowly stood up, fixed the panel with a steely gaze, took off my suit jacket, and said without a touch of irony: “Interpretive. Dance.” Then I dialed up the uncomfortable with a few choice moves. Despite these heroic efforts I was offered the job.
Perhaps the most memorable interview was for my first “real” job. I was so unqualified for this one that I had to borrow my roommate’s suit, since I did not own one at the time. I can still recall the moment I entered that intimidating office foyer, ringed by racks of promotional material. I tried to exude managerial competence as I strode towards the interview panel assembled across the room. Instead, the trouser cuff from my roommate’s borrowed suit caught the corner of a pamphlet rack, spinning me off balance. I careened headfirst into the adjacent rack, pulling it and all the resources down upon me with a crash. I lay there, winded, as pamphlets scattered into the air like a thousand paper snowflakes. Agonizing Silence. Agonizing Shame. Eventually, mercifully, one of the interviewers exclaimed, “What an entrance! I mean, HE NAILED that landing!” Somehow, I got the job.
And so, after procrastinating by writing this story, I go now to interview for yet another job for which I am unqualified. I’ll let you know how it goes. If all else fails, I may simply revert to showering in public.
Photo credit goes to www.tes.com
So… what I want to see is interpretive dance in the shower. Now THAT would be a job interview….
Delightful and highly entertaining! There’s hope for all of us to bring a touch of humor to otherwise memorable interviews. Thanks!
Ten point O from the Bulgarian judge on that landing. I like your stories and your perspective. Keep them coming.
Great story (and laugh) to start this dreary Monday morning with! I wonder how this interview will measure up to an already impressive list of ‘surprises in life’!